At this moment it is pretty clear to me Rock Bottom has been a commercial failure. Here’s four days worth of sales data:
Saturday: 1 sale 17 trials
Sunday: 50 sales 849 trials
Monday: 91 sales 660 trials
Tuesday: 74 sales 594 trials
Wednesday: 77 sales 427 trials
Total: 293 sales 2547 trials
So what’s the plan? I didn’t get this job at Baller Industries’s by ‘not being a baller’, and as all ballers know, you need to have a plan.
Releasing two failure games in a row isn’t good for a baller’s confidence. Baller’s like to constantly succeed and then show off a lot. I want to release a sequel to Rock Bottom within two months to see if I’ve lost my mojo.
I want to release something very quickly so that if it doesn’t turn out well, I haven’t wasted too much time. Releasing a game from scratch in two months time is pretty difficult. How am I going to do it?
What if I were to tell you I already have all the background images, half of the audio files and 20% of the character art? You would say “Amazing job Mr. Baller. You sure do work quickly, in the space of a few days you have acquired all these assets. You truly are a baller”
Thanks, I am. However that’s not completely correct. Rock Bottom was originally meant to have four levels. However, it ran behind schedule, and I really wanted to release it on time. I realised that it would take far too long to acquire all the ‘art assets’ so we cut the game down to three levels. The fourth level takes place in Libya. That’s why the game description says “LONG LIVE GLORIOUS NATION LIBYA”, and also why the box art is set in war-torn-Libya.
What’s wrong with Rock Bottom
Lots and lots apparently. First of all it has got to be the dialogue. It is exceedingly length and not funny. In that entire video I didn’t get a single laugh from Mr. DemoFriend. Another problem is that the audio was recorded separately. For Get Rich or Die Gaming I recorded all the audio with my friends, we went over the scenes and laughed and worked on it together. The technical quality of the audio was horribly shit, but it played a lot funnier.
It turns out Rock Bottom is a seriously commonly used phrase. Do a search and you’ll find the retards of twitter say it five times a minute. Every 12 second some retard on twitter will use the phrase ‘rock bottom’.
Why is that a bad thing? When I search through YouTube/Google/Twitter/Whatever I get a lot of hits and it’s really hard for me to find out what people are saying about Rock Bottom.
Flatness. The characters of Rock Bottom have idle animations, and they talk, but they still seem flat. Why? Because idle animations are predictable and talking animation doesn’t animate enough of the character for it to seem dynamic.
What to improve for the sequel?
1. Boners. Place boners everywhere. Rock Bottom had zero boners. Clearly gamers were unhappy about the lack of boners. I will deliver on the boners.
2. BONERS! I cannot emphasise this enough. They are vital.
3. A unique name. Something like “The Rise of Gaddafish”.
4. Shorter snappier dialogue. I know, I know, this isn’t really necessary if you have a game saturated with boners. With shorter dialogue, the mouth movements can be hand animated, creating much more realistic animation.
5. A shorter game. Rock Bottom takes about an hour and a half to play through, possibly longer if you get completely stuck somewhere. The main reasoning behind this is so that I can release it faster. Another benefit is I can saturate the game with one off animations, so that the characters seem less flat. Finally, with a shorter game, I can scrutinize everything thoroughly.
6. Background music and ambient noise. This really will add to the feel of the game. Rock Bottom had three comic cut scenes, and they didn’t have audio to go with them at all. For The Rise of Gaddafish the cut scenes will have killer audio just like they did in Let’s Get Fiscal.