Rock Bottom Casting Call

Fuck I hate They have the worst control panel in the world. Every page has about one hundred links, eighty of which link to some product GoDaddy tries to push on you. They wont automatically link WordPress to your hosting unless you give them some money, so I had to do it myself. It took me ages, possibly because I am a little bit dumb. I hate them so much.

Let’s forget about that though. Instead let’s discuss the second level of Rock Bottom. This level begins as soon as you break out of jail. You are alone on the streets and you need to get something to eat, somewhere to stay and some money. You meet the following characters.

            Rock Bottom is the sequel to the XBOX Live Indie Game Get Rich or Die Gaming. Wilson Cooper has been arrested and the game starts off in a prison. You must guide Wilson Cooper out of prison and into a life of luxury in Africa.

            Record the lines for the character(s) you would like to try out for. Save them as WAV files and email them to [email protected]



Sleazy motel owner

Name – Vissaronich Zugashivili
Voice type – Russian/Eastern European
Description – The owner of the sleaziest motel in town.
Line 1 – What you looking for my friend? Are you coming here to see the Dirty Queen?
Line 2 – Oh ho! oh ho ho ho! My friend what treat you have now bought in store. This place, it is famous, across entire siberia, for rat hunt. Biggest, juiciest, fastest rats live in all secret places. Top hunter get top prize.

A girl who is known to be a little bit on the crazy side. ALT TEXT FUCK YEAH!

Crazy Girl

Name – Crazy girl
Description – Someone you try to sell igneous rocks to.
Voice type – Annoying, high pitched, nasally.
Line 1 – Hi there Wilson, are you selling stones?
Line 2 – What would I need a stone for?

Someone who is a douce bag


Name – Douchebag
Description – Someone you try to sell igneous rocks to.
Voice type – Dane Cook, should sound like a douchebag.
Line 1 – This is a rocking stand you got here little buddy.
Line 2 – Well I don’t know if I should, I might be a bit too busy.



Name – Doorman
Description – Doorman for the Diamond Platinum Palace Hotel. He will not let the player enter because you are not rich enough.
Voice type – Condescending, snooty high brow. Will not allow the player into the hotel because he isn’t rich enough.
Line 1 – If you do not leave I will be forced to call the police and manipulate them into thinking you are some sort of criminal.
Line 2 – Sir, you are not wealthy enough to swear here, so do leave.

Mr. Godfrey, your homeless tutor

Mr. Godfrey

Name – Mr. Godfrey
Description – A homeless man who takes you under his wing to teach you how to sell people igneous rocks.
Voice type – Old man, rustic and wholesome.
Line 1 – Mere money doesn’t interest a messenger such as I. I shall pay you in the most valuable currency on this planet. I shall lend you my wisdom young man.
Line 2 – You’ve got to collect more cardboard Wilson. Cardboard is like a blanket, bed, and welcome mat all rolled into one. And it’s FREE Wilson.

A rich asshole

Rich Asshole

Name – Rich Asshole
Description – A rich guy who you approach to try sell igneous rocks to.
Voice type – Weaselly scheming.
Line 1 – Well that’s great, but what are these rocks going to do for me?
Line 2 – Wilson… I don’t care about anything besides how these rocks can get me money, and thus get me expensive things and finally get me laid.